Writer. Humorist. Animator. Philosopher.
Gadabout. Raconteur.

Philadelphia-born, New York-based.

You can find my "all original" Tumblr here.

 

afoman23:

blaxkbane:

ticklemebitches:

alanjcastonguay:

jellybabiesandjammiedodgers:

apathbetweenthestars:

Source

brb drowning myself in the toilet

But which end of the hotdog are you supposed to look through??

Omfg these made my night.

Triggered

The matrix one😂😂😂😂

girlgotmuscle:

lilinternetwarrior:

theidledrifter:

jane-b-nimbel:

thesanityclause:

youngmanandoldsoul:

“Killed 99 bears”
a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone.

My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear?Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time?

The bears made that tombstone.
A warning, and a prayer.
That he really, truely stays down.

This is too badass not to reblog.

#i had 99 problems and they were all bears so i fucking killed them

Reblog for last comment

girlgotmuscle:

lilinternetwarrior:

theidledrifter:

jane-b-nimbel:

thesanityclause:

youngmanandoldsoul:

“Killed 99 bears”

a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone.

My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear?

Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time?

The bears made that tombstone.

A warning, and a prayer.

That he really, truely stays down.

This is too badass not to reblog.

Reblog for last comment

kaible:

feitclub:

"Hey, how do you spell Massachusetts?"
"How should I know? Just grab a handful of Scrabble tiles and let fate decide."

this is like a beautiful unicorn of misspellings

There is nothing about this that isn’t brilliant, besides the epic misspelling of “Massachusetts.”
The colors: “There is a lot of Irish people in Boston, right? What are the colors of the Irish flag? Green, white, and orange. Are the stripes vertical or horizontal? We don’t know!”
The flag … hoo boy, that flag: “America has what? 50 states? We can’t afford 50 stars … let’s put on a smaller number. How about 11? Because the United States goes up to 11! Weren’t there 11 original states? Who cares! And how about 16 stripes, just because why not.”
At least they got “Boston” right.

kaible:

feitclub:

"Hey, how do you spell Massachusetts?"

"How should I know? Just grab a handful of Scrabble tiles and let fate decide."

this is like a beautiful unicorn of misspellings

There is nothing about this that isn’t brilliant, besides the epic misspelling of “Massachusetts.”

The colors: “There is a lot of Irish people in Boston, right? What are the colors of the Irish flag? Green, white, and orange. Are the stripes vertical or horizontal? We don’t know!”

The flag … hoo boy, that flag: “America has what? 50 states? We can’t afford 50 stars … let’s put on a smaller number. How about 11? Because the United States goes up to 11! Weren’t there 11 original states? Who cares! And how about 16 stripes, just because why not.”

At least they got “Boston” right.

(Source: inkpanic)

Sleepy pizza-cat. #CatsOfInstagram

Sleepy pizza-cat. #CatsOfInstagram

"Ey yo, bro!" Evidently a frat guy was involved in the making of this box.

"Ey yo, bro!" Evidently a frat guy was involved in the making of this box.

Springtime, y’all. #Brooklyn #Gpoy

Springtime, y’all. #Brooklyn #Gpoy

simsgonewrong:

I was celebrating my sims bday and I don’t know what went wrong but

simsgonewrong:

I was celebrating my sims bday and I don’t know what went wrong but

Is it just me or does it look like, if you look at a certain moment, that the woman isn’t wearing pants?

Is it just me or does it look like, if you look at a certain moment, that the woman isn’t wearing pants?

(Source: pleatedjeans)